#4 the one where I think about productivity and naps (and the need to decompress)
This week I have been thinking a lot about productivity. I can be pretty self critical about my own daily productivity so this post is somewhat of a reminder to myself about going easy on the self criticism.
I think it stems from my Dad who would ask us each morning of the school holidays what we were going to ACHIEVE that day. I have really vivid memories of him coming into my room in the morning, I must have been about 16, and asking me that. I seem to remember saying that I was going to read. I loved just staying in bed reading. I used to get through so many books during the holidays. That was not the answer he was looking for. I don't know what he was looking for actually. Dad, if you happen to read this, it was really very annoying!
Anyway, I have really needed to work hard to realise that productivity comes in many shapes and forms. I have had to teach myself that achievements of a day come in many different guises. I now know that it is better to track productivity over a month, especially for women as our cycles really dictate what we can do or what we need on a monthly rather that daily or weekly basis. Also the weather and the moon can have huge effects. You might think that is too woo-woo, but I don't! I’ve made a point of tapping in and noticing these things.
From self reflection I know that I am a very seasonal person. I am somewhere between a doormouse and a lizard. I need to soak up bright lights, colours and sunshine and if those are not available to me I need to hibernate. As I type I have my SAD lamp on. It isn't a cure for Seasonal Affective Disorder but it eases symptoms and certainly improves my mood and energy levels. Some light therapy wavelengths allow the skin to produce vitamin D. Low levels of vitamin D can make SAD more prevalent.
So where is this going you ask? I am working hard at the moment to listen to my mind and my body and give it what it needs. Giving it what it needs is being productive. It is not productive to berate myself for not getting my huge and impossible ‘to do list’ done. What it needs at the moment is rest. I need to curl up, get cosy, perhaps doodle a bit and then and nap.
I love naps! I am a big napper. I don't sleep particularly well at night and that is not because of the naps. Interestingly I often find that I sleep better on nights where I have had a nap in the day. I’m determined to start journaling and record this kind of thing to see what else emerges or what patterns I can see. I think that it has a lot to do with overwhelm. My rest time in the middle of the day allows me to decompress, process and reset. It allows me to be more productive than if I push on without a break. It means that I have less time to procrastinate and makes me focus up. In short naps, breaks, rest make me more productive!
My Mum said that I always loved my bed. I was always very happy to get snuggled down. Somethings don’t change. I love getting snuggled in under duvets and blankets, be it on the sofa or in bed. The more layers the better. I cannot sleep without something over me and especially now in the winter time I can relax so much more easily with lots of layers and weight. I really want to try a weighted blanket. They are proven to really help to regulate and relax.
My children often need sensory input to be able to relax. They have these things called body socks that are essentially a big stretchy envelope that they can get into. There is a velcro fastening if they want to fully enclose themselves, but I don't let them do that at night time. They are brilliant and sensory regulation and I really recommend them.
Recently my son and I had a big blow up. It doesn't happen very often but this time I let my guard down and he said something that really triggered me. He sometimes does this because he feels disregulated and wants and needs me to join him where he is so that we come down and reset together. It is his way of really letting me know how he is feeling.
We had a brilliant reconciliation afterwards this time and a pretty deep conversation about self harm and possible reasons why he seeks to hurt himself. He asked ‘do you know why I hurt myself?’ I thought that he was about to reveal something but he was genuinely looking to me for answers. Anyway, the reason I bring this up is that prior to this incredible conversation he had, completely of his own accord, got into his body sock to decompress. He instinctively knew that he needed to be in a cocooning environment that dampened the sensory overload he was feeling. That allowed him to be able to regulate and calm and access that higher part of his brain and articulate his needs and worries. It reminds me that we are doing a good job in educating our children to access what they need and providing the right tools for them. They don't need to be using these tools all the time and it might take them a while to get used to accessing those tools but in time it can work as hoped.
So that was somewhat of a digression, but hopefully of interest nonetheless. I should have titled this ‘the one where I think about productivity and naps and decompression - I’ll go back and add it in.
Anyway, my message for this week to you all is that you should listen to what your body needs. Tap in to that and go with it. Showing up for yourself and self care is a really necessary kind of productivity. You cannot pour from an empty jug! (Favourite saying, I’ll keep repeating it on this blog, so get used to it).
Just have a nap!
Louise x